they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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