my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
