can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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