she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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