Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
