YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
