I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
