there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
