My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
