You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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