ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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