I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
