Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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