Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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