Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
