I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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