So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
