I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
