You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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