I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
