You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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