It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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