I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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