I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
