And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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