Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think a kid would responsible me up
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
