I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
