I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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