I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
