There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
