Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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