White coat. Heels.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
