you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
