hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
