they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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