We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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