i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
