Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
