Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's Friday. Sex?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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