Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
