he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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