I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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