Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
lets start a swedish sibling band together
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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