the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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