If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
