Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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