And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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