so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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