nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
