This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
