Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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