He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
