real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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